


Do you still believe in love? I wonder

by Side_effect_of_the_meds



Series: Fem!Andreil [8]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:54:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22059664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Side_effect_of_the_meds/pseuds/Side_effect_of_the_meds
Summary: Aaron realizing that maybe, just maybe, there's someone who loves his sister more than he does.
Relationships: Aaron Minyard & Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten & Aaron Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Fem!Andreil [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586845
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	Do you still believe in love? I wonder

They were only playing around when it happened. Katelyn had been riling Aaron up since he’d walked through the door, teasing him, laughing at him. The breaking point had been when she started to tickle him. 

“Katelyn, stop,” he gasped through fits of laughter. 

“Say please,” she cooed. Aaron could barely catch his breath, let alone say please. Instead, he caught her by her wrists and flipped her over so he sat straddling her. Pinning her arms down on either side of her face he closed the distance between the two of them. He speckled kisses all over her face. Katelyn laughed at the ridiculous display of affection from him. As he pulled back, he saw her face flushed with her arms pinned on either side. Her long blonde hair had come unbound and was splayed across the white bedsheets. Suddenly, the sheets were soaked red. The hands pinning her down weren’t his own. They were far too big to be his. Drawing his gaze back to Katelyn’s face, it wasn’t Katelyn he had pinned down. In her place was a face identical to his own, haloed by pale gold hair. Tears streamed down the girl’s face. Manic laughter echoed through Aaron’s head.

“Erin!” he shrieked as he toppled off the bed. Scrambling backwards, he felt his back hit the door. Aaron felt as if there were chains binding his torso. He clawed desperately at his chest, trying to tear off chains that weren’t really there. He couldn’t breathe. 

“Aaron. Aaron, it’s me. It’s Katelyn.” Aaron’s gaze snapped up to see Katelyn kneeling a foot in front of him. Her hands were outstretched, hovering around his face. He grabbed them and cupped them around his face. Sobs wracked his body and he felt Katelyn get closer. She dropped a hand from his face and wrapped her arm around him. She drew him into her lap. Aaron didn’t know how long he sat there crying, only that Katelyn didn’t leave him the entire time. 

It had been three weeks since Erin had been shipped off to Easthaven. Aaron hadn’t even known that she was leaving. Josten had been the one to tell him. The words had barely left her mouth before he’d shot out of his chair, knocking it over in the process. He’d torn down the hall and flung open the front door. Aaron had run all the way down the street before collapsing to his knees. Digging his hands into the ground, he ripped hunks of grass out and screamed up at the sky. He curled up in a ball and lay there for a few seconds, minutes, hours. Something nudged him and he turned to look up. A hand had appeared out of the sky. For half a second, Aaron thought it was God coming to save him from his misery. It was only Josten. He smacked her hand away and got to his feet on his own. Trudging back to the house, he wiped the tears from his eyes. He smeared snot all over his shirt sleeve but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“What did you think running was going to accomplish?” Josten asked him when she found him searching for answers at the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniels. Aaron just stared at the floor. 

“Why are you different?” he whispered. He looked over at Josten. A frown creased her brow. “I know you’re not  **_that_ ** stupid,” he spat. “Why does Erin treat you differently? What makes you so special? Why does she do things for you?” 

Now it was Josten’s turn to avoid his gaze. He watched as she shrunk into her sweater. No. Not hers. The sweater she wore belonged to Erin, a Christmas present from Nicky. He had watched his sister chuck it in Josten’s face before they’d left for the drive out here. After a few endless minutes she finally answered. “Because we’re the same,” she whispered. 

“What do you mean?” Aaron asked. With a sigh, Ania told him about men with sharp smiles and roaming hands. She told him about their stale alcohol breath and the weight of them bearing down on her. She told him about a boy in Millport that’s shoved her up against the lockers so many times that she’d lost count. Tears slipped from Aaron’s eyes against his will. Little by little, the pieces of the puzzle clicked together. 

“That’s why you never come near us,” Aaron said softly as she finished her story. He watched the slow nod of her head. “Josten.” Her eyes remained glued to the floor. “Ania,” he said. Slowly, she dragged her gaze up to meet his. “I hate you but I won’t **_ever_** hurt you,” he said. A small smile tinged her lips. Aaron could have sworn his soul left his body. Even tired and broken, Ania Josten was stunning. Not as stunning as Katelyn, of course, but she had her appeal. 

“Erin would kill you if you tried,” she replied. Aaron huffed a laughed. She was right. Brother or not, Erin would never stand for him doing anything even remotely resembling what the two of them had survived. “You know, it’s 2 a.m., right?” Aaron cursed softly and Ania’s smile grew. “Get to bed. I’ll drive us home in the morning.” Aaron let her take the bottle from him and trudged up the stairs alone. He felt a shard of pain wrench his heart as he passed Erin’s room. Collapsing into his bed, he let his exhaustion drag him into sleep. That night he dreamt of dark red blood smeared across golden hair and pale wrists. 

\---

Loving his sister was undoubtedly the hardest thing Aaron had ever done. In the three years that he’d known her, she had always shut him out. A lot of it made sense now. Her last brother had been a disgusting excuse for a human being. How could she expect Aaron to be any better? Sitting in the booth at the diner, Aaron found himself resenting the fact that all the Foxes were together. As soon as Erin was out of the picture, Kevin and his cousin had started cozying up to the upperclassmen. A pang of guilt always stuck him in the gut as he felt the Katelyn’s arm wind around his waist. As soon as Erin was out of the picture, he’d started cozying up with Katleyn in front of the others too. Didn’t that make him just as bad? That night he let Katelyn kiss him until his brain couldn’t form a single coherent thought. 

Laying beside her, he traced patterns across her exposed stomach. All of the cheerleaders were pure lean muscle. All except Katelyn. Unknown to most, her uniform hid a layer of fat on her abdomen. Katelyn had been self-conscious about taking her shirt off in front of him the first time but it hadn’t taken him long to convince her he loved it just as much as the rest of her. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” he’d asked. “It’s the world’s most heavenly pillow.” Katelyn’s bright laughter had filled the room as he rested his chin on it. Staring up at her, Aaron was convinced he that he was staring right at the sun. Being so close to the sun would only burn him up and Aaron knew it. Hearing her laughter, Aaron decided that he wouldn’t mind if it was for her. 

Now as she lay sleeping, Aaron felt soft and sleepy himself. Warmth bloomed in his chest at the sound of her murmuring his name softly in her sleep. A thought cut through his sleep addled brain. Could Erin ever have this? 

Aaron knew that his sister deserved someone who loved her more than anyone he’d ever met. But who? Kevin definitely wasn’t good enough for her. Matt seemed fond of her but that didn’t seem quite right either. Erin needed someone who understood what she’d been through. Someone who wouldn’t push her any further than she was willing to go. She needed someone who’d whisper her name like a prayer. 

_ There is someone _ , Aaron realized. His thoughts turned to a person with a smile that could easily light the stadium all on its own. A person who always took no for an answer, and so, was never denied a single request. A person who he’d once heard whisper, ‘Jude’ in her sleep like the prayer of a sinner on her deathbed. 

Loving Erin Jude Minyard was damnation itself. Aaron knew his sister was all hard lines and sharp edges. She was all vice with no discernible virtue but Aaron didn’t care. He had spent his entire life feeling sorry for himself, believing that there wasn’t a soul in the world more deserving of salvation than his own. From the moment he’d laid eyes on the empty shell of a person that Erin was, he’d known he was wrong. Never before had Aaron felt such shame as he did when he realized the depth of his own selfishness. 

Being raised by a drug-addict and her endless string of short term boyfriends only bought Aaron so many concessions and he knew he’d used them up long ago. Aaron’s self-centeredness had hurt more people than he cared to admit. He was no saint and he didn’t have any intention of becoming one. Still, some small part of him wondered if he lived out the remainder of his life trying to make amends for all he’d done before maybe, just maybe, he’d get to glimpse his sister standing behind the gates of heaven on his way down to hell. 

The next morning at practice, he watched a girl who’d once outshone the sun collapse into herself like a dying star, sucking up every shard of light and joy as she went. Watching her, Aaron began to think he’d found the only person who cared more for his sister than he did. Erin deserved better. He was sure of it but they were Foxes. They’d never get what they deserved. Settling for less was an art form that every one of them had been forced to master. 

Screwing his eyes shut, he prayed with sincerity for the first time in a long time. “Please,” he whispered. “Just let my sister be happy. Even if it’s with her. With Josten. With Ania.” 


End file.
